Journey to the Good Place.

Know yourself. Love yourself.


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I Miss You

I miss you so much

I can’t stand it

I can’t think

I can’t even breath

All I can do

Every day

Is wonder

Why

Why must you be

So far away

Why can’t you be

Here with me

And why

Why must I love you

So damn much

So much

That I

Can’t

Breathe

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Re-claiming.

Re-claiming my blog. De-privatized a bunch of old posts, from May to September of 2010. I had set them to private because they were all posts from my old blog, the blog I kept during my time with my ex, and I hadn’t yet decided whether or not I wanted to delete those posts. I decided not to. My time with Joe was definitely the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and its definitely something  I’d rather not think about or even remember. But it was also a period of time during which I learned a lot and changed drastically as a person. It was a period of time that was very instrumental in creating the person I am today, and therefore I feel that it would be very ungrateful of me to erase the documentation of that time period. And who knows? Perhaps there will be a time in the future where going back and reading those posts will be very helpful.

I’m also going to start adding in some new posts from a physical paper and leather journal I kept while I was on deployment.  It will cover April through September of 2011, starting with the “halfway-point” vacation I took when my new boyfriend and I came back to the states to meet each other’s family, and ending with my “for-good” return to the states last week. I am saddened that I wasn’t keeping a journal during the first half of my time there. I am saddened that I have no documentation of my destiny-sodden meeting with my soul mate, Mike. I am grieved that there is no documentation of how we comforted each other during a time that was very difficult for both of us. I am annoyed that there is no record of the many horrible experiences I went through that caused me to finally throw my marriage into an industrial sized shredder, then take the resulting pile of fragments and set it on fire.

Perhaps later I will write about the beginning of our story. But for now you will have to be content with being dropped right into the middle.