Journey to the Good Place.

Know yourself. Love yourself.

Dog: Guarder of house by day, Guarder of vagina by night.

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09:19PM

When my boyfriend adopted a pureblood baby husky, he knew it wasn’t gonna be easy. He had spent time in the past with my roommates 3 yr old purebreed husky and had come to know quite intimately what difficult animals they are.

For anyone who has never had the privilege, here’s a quick introduction to the huskie breed:
~Owning a husky is like babysitting a kid who is 20 times more intelligent than you are and has no problem reminding you of that fact at every opportunity. If you are unable to establish dominance and make them respect you, or if you allow them to get bored, they will put their highly impressive brain to work on finding the most effective means of displaying their displeasure.

Some examples of punishments that I’ve seen inflicted by huskies upon their owners:
-“Oh, you leave me home with no toys? I take everything paper out of the trashcan, tear it into paw sized pieces, and place one piece in every square foot of the living room. Then I sit in the middle and wait for you to come home so you know I did it on purpose and feel no remorse.”
-“Oh, you hear me knock at the back door and don’t let me in imediately? I knock over all your flower pots, then grab all the plants in my mouth and scatter them all over the yard to make absolutely sure you can’t put them back and save them. Then I dig a big hole just past the edge of the porch so when you walk out back you will hopefully fall in it and break a leg. Then if you have still failed to let me in, I will begin digging up your bushes and trees one at a time until you finally open the door.”
-“Oh, you lock me in the bedroom because the other dog made piddle inside and you need to clean it without me walking through it? I did not request to go in your room, so I will poop in the very center of your bed. Then I will sit in the center of the room and wait for you to come discover it. I will wait while you stare in shock and bewilderment. I will wait while you summon your roommate. I will wait while she stares in shock and bewilderment, then I will proceed to punish myself by putting myself in my cage so that you can’t even vent some of your anger by punishing me, all you can do is take it like a bitch.”

My boyfriend had heard all these stories before he chose to adopt a husky, he was prepared for her tyrany and has been the best dog~daddy a husky could ask for. However, there was one personality trait he was unprepared for, which he didn’t even discover until I came to visit.

If you read my previous post you know that I am about 3/4 through my 2 week visit with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, my boyfriend had to work for a good chunk of my time here and I don’t have a car here, so I ended up getting to spend a good amount of quality time stuck at home bonding with the dog. As a result, she and I are now quite close. However, I didn’t realize just HOW close until last night.

So my boyfriend and I are laying in bed cuddling….some kissing ensues…and one thing leads to another and we start getting bus~ay. We didn’t hear the dog come in but all of a sudden she leaps onto the bed and tries to insert herself between us and even nips at my boyfriend a little. He shoves her off the bed and we continue where we left off. A bit later we finish and as we head to the bathroom to clean up, we notice the dog curled up in the corner with an accusing scarred-for-life look on her face. We both laugh, give her a reassuring pat on her head and continue to the bathroom. We come back to the bedroom, get in bed, and no sooner have I gotten under the covers but the dog jumps on top of the bed, nestles herself between my legs and looks up at me with a pouty worried expression.

“Look at her!” I exclaim to my boyfriend, “It’s like she’s trying to make sure I’m ok; like she thinks you were hurting me or something.”

“Oh poor thing,” he says and starts to reach out to pat her head. She gives him an acusatory glare and promptly buries her muzzle in my lady parts. My boyfriend bursts out laughing, “It’s like she’s saying ‘No more shall enter here’.”

“You think it’s funny,” I say, “but I can’t budge her and I’m still half sitting. I would prefer to be laying down so I can sleep.”

“Okay, okay,” he says and reaches out to try and move the dog away from my vag. She responds by biting him and growling and, when he withdraws his hand, crawling forward until she’s crouching over my pelvis like a lioness defending her cub.

“Well,” I say looking at my boyfriend while wearing a wolf’s fur chastity belt. “Looks like you wont be getting laid for awhile, guess you did TOO good of a job raising a guard dog.” His facial expression is, understandably, Le Displeased.

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Author: Meggo The Flying Eggo

Once upon a time I knew exactly who I was. Once upon a time I knew what I was doing and where I was going. Once upon a time I knew what I wanted and what I didn't like. Once upon a time I had it all figured out... Then I was born.

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