Sorry I’ve been absent awhile everyone. As you may have somewhat glimpsed in my recent posts, I’ve been through kind of a rough emotional ride recently. However, today I wanted to share with you all something kinda eventful: Three months ago Mike and I broke up. Today, three months later, the breakup is finally official. I know that sounds weird, so let me explain: 3 months ago Mike and I decided to break up because long distance was too hard. I would rather we’d broken up because we hated eachother. That may sound crazy, but when you break up due to hate, there’s closure, and an opportunity for a new start. When you break up on friendly terms, you run the risk of not being able to let go. That’s what happened to us. The past three months have been a constant emotional teeter totter ride. One minute he’s telling me he loves me and could never love anyone else, the next he’s telling me not to call him, to wait for him to call me because his new girlfriend doesn’t like how much he’s talking to me. One minute he’s saying he’s not ready to let me go and still wants to marry me someday, the next he’s saying he doesn’t know when, if ever, he’ll be able to trust me again. Since we first broke up, my friends have been urging to cut myself free for real, but recently its gotten way more intense, and finally I had to agree with them: it’s not fair that he’s got a caring girlfriend while I sit at home alone, and it’s not healthy for me to put my life on hold waiting for someone who won’t be coming back to me for a long time, if ever. So today, after an hour or so long tearful emotional conversation, I told him to set me free. It wasn’t easy, we were both choking up while arguing over who would be the one to hang up on our last conversation. That’s right, no more contact. I told him I didn’t want him to call me or text me or anything me until he was really ready to forgive me, ready to love me again, ready to start over fresh and stop holding grudges. He wasn’t happy, but he agreed it was probably for the best. Soo…here’s to freedom at last. Wish I was more excited. But I can say that I am feeling very releived. Wish me luck in the future everyone!