I’ve been on a real positive and motivated trend lately. Very upbeat, very calm, very driven toward the future. Well, that all came to a bit of a screeching halt yesterday when I was informed that I have 3 months until I get out of the military, rather than the year and 3 months I THOUGHT I had. As you can imagine, this is putting a bit of a kink in my plans ans is putting me into a bit of a panic.
I was actually way more pannicked yesterday. I was trying to decide between staying in San Antonio, TX and going back to Colorado. It was a really hard decision until I made an itemized list of pros and cons like the anal little Virgo I am. I would like to share a condensed version of that list with you now:
- Free rent (my Dad will let me stay at home for free)
- No 120 degree summers
- A whole state worth of people who think the same I do
- Would have to live with my family, who are prone to negativity and stress (and I’m not good at tuning that out)
- Would have to be in a house and city full of bad puberty-soaked memories
- Would have to drive an hour to find a decent job and 4 hours for a decent college
- The unsettling feeling that I’m going backwards (unacceptable after all the forward progress I’ve made)
- Would have to abandon a relationship that’s only just getting started, and that has already proven to be very healthy for me.
- Have to uproot and move, which I just did a few months ago. And I’ll have to do it again after college is over.
- I’m comfy here
- Good English program at a nice college right down the street.
- I’ve been in a very positive, motivated mood here lately, and I’m afraid that moving will disrupt that
- Get to stay with a wonderful man who has been very good for me, and see where that goes
- Get to work on looking for a job before I get out, whereas if I go to Colorado I’ll have to start from scratch after I’ve already lost my paycheck
- Get to keep my privacy and independence
- Get to relax and settle in one place for awhile
- Settled into my area, already have healthy studying atmospheres picked out
- The only person who can disrupt my studies is me
- Its SOOOO hot here
- Once all my friends move to new bases in the next few months, I’ll have no support system, I’ll be all alone.
- What if things with this guy don’t work out and it turns out that he was really the biggest reason I stayed without my realizing it?
- Generally speaking I’m not a huge fan of Texas
- It’ll probably hurt my family’s feelings
- I’m a little worried about being able to support myself, especially for the next few months before my college money kicks in
That’s all I can think of right now…but so far I really think I’m leaning towards staying put… Any thoughts?