Journey to the Good Place.

Know yourself. Love yourself.

The Brakes

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I’ve been on a real positive and motivated trend lately. Very upbeat, very calm, very driven toward the future. Well, that all came to a bit of a screeching halt yesterday when I was informed that I have 3 months until I get out of the military, rather than the year and 3 months I THOUGHT I had. As you can imagine, this is putting a bit of a kink in my plans ans is putting me into a bit of a panic.

I was actually way more pannicked yesterday. I was trying to decide between staying in San Antonio, TX and going back to Colorado. It was a really hard decision until I made an itemized list of pros and cons like the anal little Virgo I am. I would like to share a condensed version of that list with you now:

Colorado:

Pros:

  • Free rent (my Dad will let me stay at home for free)
  • No 120 degree summers
  • A whole state worth of people who think the same I do

Cons:

  • Would have to live with my family, who are prone to negativity and stress (and I’m not good at tuning that out)
  • Would have to be in a house and city full of bad puberty-soaked memories
  • Would have to drive an hour to find a decent job and 4 hours for a decent college
  • The unsettling feeling that I’m going backwards (unacceptable after all the forward progress I’ve made)
  • Would have to abandon a relationship that’s only just getting started, and that has already proven to be very healthy for me.
  • Have to uproot and move, which I just did a few months ago. And I’ll have to do it again after college is over.

Texas:

Pros:  

  • I’m comfy here
  • Good English program at a nice college right down the street.
  • I’ve been in a very positive, motivated mood here lately, and I’m afraid that moving will disrupt that
  • Get to stay with a wonderful man who has been very good for me, and see where that goes
  • Get to work on looking for a job before I get out, whereas if I go to Colorado I’ll have to start from scratch after I’ve already lost my paycheck
  • Get to keep my privacy and independence
  • Get to relax and settle in one place for awhile
  • Settled into my area, already have healthy studying atmospheres picked out
  • The only person who can disrupt my studies is me

Cons:

  • Its SOOOO hot here
  • Once all my friends move to new bases in the next few months, I’ll have no support system, I’ll be all alone.
  • What if things with this guy don’t work out and it turns out that he was really the biggest reason I stayed without my realizing it?
  • Generally speaking I’m not a huge fan of Texas
  • It’ll probably hurt my family’s feelings
  • I’m a little worried about being able to support myself, especially for the next few months before my college money kicks in

That’s all I can think of right now…but so far I really think I’m leaning towards staying put… Any thoughts?

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Author: Meggo The Flying Eggo

Once upon a time I knew exactly who I was. Once upon a time I knew what I was doing and where I was going. Once upon a time I knew what I wanted and what I didn't like. Once upon a time I had it all figured out... Then I was born.

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