First of all I would like to tell you all about my turbulent relationship with the holidays. First of all, I grew up celebrating Christmas, and my family had a curiously fantastic talent for ruining the whole thing. All I remember is everyone was stressed and yelling and nothing I did was good enough. I didn’t put up the Christmas ornaments correctly, I didn’t offer to get the adults drinks quickly enough, I didn’t show enough excitement when I opened my gifts. So as I got older and started thinking about having kids some day (before I came to the decision that that would NEVER happen) I had to decide what I would tell my children about Christmas and Santa. Well, I follow the Pantheist religion, which is a very nature-centered religion that has a pleasant balance between science and a kind of general spiritual energy that connects us to nature and each other. Then on the other hand, I’ve always had a rather intense obsession with old fashioned fairy tails where grandma gets eaten by a wolf because a little girl didn’t do as her parents told her to. So what I came up with for a Holiday story that I could feel comfortable with was “Once upon a time an old monk named Saint Nikolas decided to celebrate the birthday of a very nice man named Jesus Christ by hand making a whole pile of toys and giving them to all the poor starving children of the nearby village. He snuck into their houses in the dead of night and hid the toys in the children’s socks, which were hanging by the fireplace to dry. Now, the Winter Solstice is a time when everything is cold and dead and survival is harder and sometimes it is easy to get sad. Therefore, in order to keep people’s hope alive and remind them that spring is coming and life will return again, we take up the example of Saint Nikolas and we give presents to those less fortunate than ourselves in order to give them life and hope.”
Now, that being said, I have been working double time to keep my own hope alive and focus on the good things in my future to help me stay positive. I would like to write those positive things down here so I will be able to come back and read them later if I need a reminder.
1) I have some awesome classes scheduled next semester. LGBT studies (aka what Meggo does in her free time anyway), Memory and Cognition, Writing in the Professions, and Painting (because I’ve always wanted to and I actually had room for it this semester). I’m taking 19 credit hours though! It’s gonna be SOOO busy. I might have to drop something later, but I’m gonna give it a shot ^.^
2) I’m starting a HUUUUUGE research project with a couple of my favorite Psychology teachers and my favorite classmate. I don’t want to give you too much information about it, in case anyone tries to steal it. All I’ll say is that it is going to do WONDERFUL things for transgender children and teenagers. Since I have transsexual and transgender friends and was there for some of them during high school and saw a lot of the shit they went through, I am very motivated to do this project in the hopes that no child will ever have to go through that again.
3) I got a job working as the secretary in the Psychology building. It only pays 8.00 an hour but it works around my schedule and it’ll make me even more noticeable to the Psychology professors, which will come in handy when I need letters of recommendation for grad school. I might have a second job as an assistant bee keeper, but the boss for that job has had a lot of her own stressful traumatic shit going on lately, so I haven’t heard back from her. I hope I hear back from her soon, that would be such an exciting job!!!!
4) Korey and I are moving out together! We’ve been planning on it for awhile, but the time has officially come. First of all, my father is REALLY getting on my last nerve. If he threatens to shoot my cats one more time I might just punch him in the face before I can stop myself. Second of all, this house is a cluster fuck. I’m sick of living in a basement with no windows and a leaky wall so it’s always damp and freezing. Then the leaky wall gets the carpet wet and causes old pet stains to resurface and stink. Then my dad refuses to catproof his house, so my cats keep causing messes and breaking things, which causes their lives to be threatened. And then my dad finally managed to piss off one of his neighbors to the point that they’ve started opening our gate to let our dogs out and finally the other day one of my dads dogs attacked one of our neighbors dogs, so she started chasing ALL the dogs through the neighborhood with a shotgun, so I had to get rid of MY dog so he wouldn’t be considered guilty by association and get himself killed. So I’m just SOOOO done with this place. Good news at least is that my dog is probably in a better home now. I was never active enough for him, now he’s in a house full of kids and smaller dogs to play with and he’s been named official babysitter of the baby girl of the family, so he seems all proud of himself and self-important. Third of all, Korey and I would like some more privacy, it’s kind of suffocating living with my Dad. Not only do we NEVER get to have sex, but also I miss being a grownup, and Korey is finally learning to be a grownup and would like to get some real practice. And the final reason I’m ready to move out is that I’m going to be SOOO busy with school and work next semester, that the hour drive to campus is going to become increasingly more annoying. Especialy because I’ve made some good friends at school that are just as focused as I am and I really enjoy just sitting and studying with them, but I never get to because I’m either carpooling with my sister and have to get her home, or I am by myself and am just worried about getting tired and then falling asleep on the long boring drive home.
5) This’ll be the first time I’ve ever moved and been able to take my time. So I finally have an opportunity to go through my stuff and get rid of the shit I don’t need. I’m starting the process today by going through my beanie baby collection to see if I have anything that’s worth any money. So if any of y’all are interested, let me know ^.^ Next I’ll start going through books and clothes probably…
6) When the semester ended and I had to face the sudden lack of things on my to-do list. I suddenly had an urge to write. Not only am I finally catching up on this blog, I’ve also gotten back to work on a book I started 6 years ago. It should be pretty good if I can ever finish it, I’ve had a few people read what I have so far and they were very eager to read the rest so…we’ll see what happens. Wish me luck all!
So here’s to staying motivated and positive during the chilly and depressing winter months! Hang in there y’all!
Love from Meggo